The goal of a yoni massage isn’t necessarily to have an orgasm, often times women can get very emotional during and/or after the massage because of what is coming up for them.
Karen was fortunate not to have any history of sexual abuse, but I would say her sensuality has been suppressed and that she is now just beginning to discover the potential of owning her own sexuality.
During our beginning talk, she remembered the questions she had asked by email and didn't feel the need to ask them again, so I asked her to tell me a little about how she felt today here with me. She said this was her first yoni massage and the reason she was here was because she had became aware of her fear and resistance to sexuality and wanted to begin breaking down those walls.
We sat together in silence for a minute and I made my overall intention for the session of clearing her energy lines and repairing her Chakra. I noticed as soon as she arrived how her Aura was broken in places.
Now it was time to begin the massage, I left the room as she undressed and climbed onto the mat face down. I returned and kneeing at her head, my hands resting gently on her shoulders, began breathing exercises and explaining how she must stay in the moment. We shared this time as I created a safe place for her in case she had any traumas rising during the session.
Once I was happy Karen was in the right headspace I began the slow, sensual massage, using plenty of warm oil to slide over skin, creating the feelings and pleasure to carry us forward. After about 45 minutes I asked her to turn over onto her front. All the time I reminded her to focus on the moment. As the massage became more intimate and I was massaging her breasts she seemed a little unsure, but with slow well oiled strokes she soon totally relaxed into the pleasure.
Karen had said after the session she wanted to write about her experiences, so from here it makessense if she tells the story.
I had felt a little odd when Paul started to massage my breasts, but being in the moment I was able to relax and enjoy the wonderful sensations. It felt odd to simply be laying back receiving pleasure which is quite tricky, but Paul's encouragement and reminders of my breathing it soon simply became a wave of pleasure. Now we’re moving towards my yoni. I started to think to myself, “Okay, here we go.” as I kept being reminded to focus on my breath.
Paul began by massaging the outside of my yoni, noting that it was a healthy yoni, without knots or tension (I felt good about that—I’m not going to lie), this was accompanied by massaging my thighs, stomach and breasts as well.
He then asked me to contract my yoni muscles (Kegel exercises, anyone?) and once I released, he confirmed he was about to penetrate, I nodded and his fingers entered my yoni. Now, you may be asking if this was at all weird, at any moment and to be honest, no! Trust me, I was waiting for it be uncomfortable. Then he began by hitting certain pressure points within my yoni, which were not painful, but not pleasurable, there was definitely tension and just like any massage he began to release the pressure.
Once the pressure points were done, he went to different areas of my yoni, G spot, A spot, cervix.
There were certain areas that were more pleasurable than others and once he hit the sensitive A spot, the focus stayed there. Now I must say, going into this, I was not expecting to have an orgasm, I thought it would help release some tension, but that I was filled with too much tension to really let go and experience an orgasm.
Well, I had an orgasm and it was pretty amazing. I imploded the orgasm versus having an explosive orgasm, meaning instead of releasing the energy out, I kept it within my body, for me that equalled a full body orgasm. My body shook uncontrollably, I laughed and cried all at the same time, Paul's free hand pressing down on my hips so I had the full force and the waves vibrated through me again and again.
I then laid there for about 10 minutes and allowed the energy to subside. Paul waited until I was ready. I sat in front of Paul and we simply looked at each other Paul reminding me I am worthy to fully enjoy sex, I am empowered to accept pleasure, I am able to surrender to totally losing control, and I am to know I am sexy! After holding his hands for a few minutes I was ready to dress.
Once I was dressed I said, “thank you” to Paul and was on my way.
There was no awkwardness at all, and I felt totally comfortable speaking with him afterward. To me, yoni massage is a proper therapy and there was no uncomfortable energy attached to the experience. I am happy I did it, it allowed me to become aware of my sexuality and begin to give it some attention.
This is just the beginning, with my sexuality being ignored for so long, I really have to continue giving myself and my sexuality the attention it deserves.
So, I now begin to step into and discover yet another aspect of myself, my sensual and sexual self.
[Just a note to say since writing Karen has enjoyed a further session getting closer to who she really is sexually. Paul]